Yearning (or Yawning?)

Dearest Husband,

You want to fulfill my fantasies, right? Satisfy all my desires? I thought so, big guy. That's why I'm going to cut right to the chase and let you know exactly what I want: no guessing games, no playing coy, just straight to the stuff that will make me melt. I'll be putty in your hands.

First, I want you to take me to the bedroom and order me to get on the bed.*

*Because you know I have too much to do to actually initiate a nap on my own.

Then I'm going to take off my bra ...*

*Who can sleep comfortably with one on? I mean really?

... and my pants.*

*In my fantasies this is, like, a serious nap ... and everybody knows pantsless is the way to go.

I want to feel your hands on my body. ... Lower ... lower ...*

*Because a foot massage would be an epic way to kick off this nap.

I want you to whisper in my ear about all the dirty things you're going to do while I'm lying here.*

*Like mop the dirty floor, wash the dirty laundry, scrub the dirty toilet, bathe the dirty children ...

Then I want you to give it to me. Nice and slow.*

*I mean the pillow. The fat one. And fluff it first.

Oh, yeah ... I'm all hot and bothered right now.*

*But that's probably because there's a human-radiator of a toddler using me as a jungle gym, which is definitely bothersome. 

So let me know the next time you want to participate in this ... adults-only activity.*

*Seriously, don't let the kids see me trying to nap. They'd never allow it.

Take me to heaven, honey. I want it so bad. I ache for it.*

*No, I mean it, I ache. Did you see the size of that last load of laundry I carried up the stairs? Sheesh.

I'll be waiting. Don't make me beg.


Love,