Gym. Coffee. Shove It, HauteLook.

Advertising is a part of life. Largely annoying, but necessary to fuel the consumer-driven society we live in. I barely pay attention to ads, until there's one that drives me bat-crap-crazy ... like the one where Extra gum is called "a snack" (in whose world?) and the one where Eva Mendes says she was "dared" (instead of, I don't know, paid a ton of money) to use Pantene shampoo.

But no commercial - NO. COMMERCIAL. EVER. - has bugged me to the insane, nails-on-a-chalkboard, seething-with-irritation degree as the one that keeps playing for HauteLook. It's apparently an online shopping site where you can get the latest fashions for your home and wardrobe (and your man, who according to the commercial, is unable to dress himself).


It mentions that you can procure said styles for fifty to seventy percent off! Oh reeeeally, HauteLook? That must be how the girl in your commercial does absolutely nothing but shop all day every day! She says it herself: her daily routine is gym, coffee, HauteLook. What a grueling schedule. It's a wonder she doesn't fall into bed exhausted every night from, you know, sitting in the peaceful silence of her clean, fashionably-appointed apartment doing all this online shopping (and then admiring her model-skinny self in the mirror while wearing her latest haul). The poor thing. Her life is so hard that her man probably doesn't even have a car service to take them to dinner - they have to drive their own and then valet. I'm just guessing. Oh, the humanity.

Keep on playing this ad, people, because real women like me can soooo identify. Am I right?! I mean, I go to the gym a lot too. But, oh yeah, that's because - in addition to my day job - I work there. You know, to make a little bit of money so that I can buy clothes and shoes. Oh, but not for myself: for my kids, because they're always tearing up and/or outgrowing their stuff, the little ingrates. But I can totally identify with the modeling in front of the mirror part - because every six months when I am able to buy my very own outfit from, like, the clearance racks at Target or Old Navy, I like to stand in front of the mirror myself (I mean, it's usually to frown disapprovingly at the way something doesn't quite fit my thighs or accentuates my muffin top, but whatever. I guess I don't drink enough coffee). My home isn't exactly as trendy as the one on the commercial - I was going to buy some new decor but my air conditioner broke and my cat needed antibiotics and we had to make yet another payment on the toddler's fractured wrist. But hey! I've only had the same wine/grape motif in my kitchen for a decade. And since HauteLook's stuff is so deeply discounted I might be able to afford their home goods one of these days. Or, okay, one of these years.

So thanks a bucket, HauteLook, for making an ad that I can relate to. Except for the not having to work part. And the doing nothing but shopping all day part. And the affording the latest styles complete with accessories at all times part. And the dressing your man part. And the spotless, stainless, childless environment part. And the skinny and blonde part.

Hmmm.

I guess I'm more of a "Ship My Pants" type of girl.