Show-and-Tell Hell

Every Thursday is Cameron's show-and-tell day in his Kindergarten class.

Colin had the same Kindergarten teacher, and when he was in her class, they got to bring whatever they wanted for show-and-tell. (Colin's choices were almost always on the weird side ... remember this?) But this year, they have to bring things according to a theme. Like last week was "the letter M" and Cameron brought Michaelangelo, his favorite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.

But today. Today's theme was "the letter A." And when it came to finding something for show-and-tell that started with that particular letter, I was drawing "A" blank.

It didn't help that I totally forgot about it until like ten minutes before we were to walk out the door. Yes, I have it marked on my calendar every week. Yes, his teacher sent home a reminder yesterday. BUT. These are the kinds of things I remember at random times, like while I'm changing a diaper or writing an article or hiding in the closet eating the last ice cream bar folding the laundry. I think, "Oh, when I'm done with (insert menial task here) I'll totally get on that." But I never do. Which brings us to this morning, ten minutes before departure for school, and Cameron and I frantically ransacking his room for something show-and-tell worthy that starts with the letter A.

"How about this animal?" I suggested, holding up a raggedy stuffed tiger. Cameron, who is apparently far too cool to bring a tattered stuffed toy to school, gave me a look. So I kept rummaging in his toy box.

"Here's an airplane!" I said triumphantly. Then, upon closer inspection: "Oh. It's a submarine." Damn misleading propeller.

Meanwhile, Cameron was really stretching it. "What about A robot?" he said. "Or A dinosaur?"

Now it was my turn to give him a look.

"NinjAAAAAAAA Turtle?" he asked hopefully.

Defeated, I sat down on his floor. "I just don't know, son. I can't find anything suitable. Maybe you can just skip it this week and - "

"NOOOOO!" he wailed. Because of course.

I sighed. "What about an apple?"

"An apple?" Cameron said skeptically. "Mommy. Apples are for lunch. Not show-and-tell."

We were both quiet for a minute. Then his face lit up with what he clearly thought was a brilliant idea. "I know! I can take my Brawlin' Buddy and say his name is Alice!"

For the record, this is Cameron's Brawlin' Buddy:

... He doesn't exactly look like an Alice.

"I think his name is Randy," I said wearily.

Finally, with like two seconds to spare, I suggested that he take one of his toy cars except refer to it as an "automobile." Which he agreed to do.

... And then proceeded to take so long picking one out that we were nearly late to school. I had to haul ass, which is exceedingly difficult with four dawdling kids in tow.

He'd better remember to call it an automobile.