The Babbling Bachelor

So, this is Curtis, and as most of you may know Rita is on vacation right now. However, due to travel warnings she and her bff Denni cancelled their trip two days before departure....but that's okay because they re-booked for Montego Bay, Jamaica. Therefore, I am writing a guest blog to try and ....(hold on Coby lost the staff to his "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle" and is having a meltdown).....Where was I? Oh yeah, so, I am trying to guest blog and really get a feel for what my amazing wife goes through on the daily. I will warn you now I am NOT a writer and my punctuation leaves a lot to be desired but I will give it my best shot.

My adventure started on Saturday when we took Rita to meet her friend Denni. To tell you the truth I was scared to death! I mean, Rita is the backbone of this house and family. I go to work, come home and help out around the house very little... Don't shoot at me ladies, I am just being honest.  Anyway, day one started off pretty normal, I came home and convinced the boys that they were tired and napped for about an hour. At about....(holy cow the baby stinks!!!)... At about 5pm I decided to try to figure out what to make for supper. Me, "Boys do you want some Ramen Noodles?" Boys, "No" so I said, "how about some pizza? I can throw some Pizza in the oven." again a unanimous "no". I stopped and thought about it for  a second and said, "How about some of Daddy's homemade Chicken Pot Pie?" and finally I got an excited "Yes" (Knowing that they have never had nor will they ever have "Daddy's homemade" anything)......Thank you Marie Calendar! I sneaked the package of CPP, that Rita stashed for me, out of the freezer; threw them in the microwave and BAM! it was like Emerill stopped by and the boys loved it! I called Rita to tell her of my success and she stopped me mid-sentence and said, "You put Pot Pies in the Microwave?" I paused for a moment because this sounded like one of those trick questions that we husbands often hear like 'do these jeans make me look... enter negative connotations that we don't say here?' or 'Do you like my hair this way?' So, I scrambled for the box and there it was, my saving grace, microwave instructions on the box! Thank you again Marie Calendar! Crisis averted, I could prove that I wasn't going to poison the kids on the first night.  Since then, I have stuck to the list that Rita provided for me, and you know what, it sure makes things flow around here. We are like a well oiled machine! The kids have been dressed and early for school every morning...yes I know it's only Tuesday but hey give a guy a break... They have even had their hair fixed! I have fed everyone, even the animals, every meal that is required to survive and even watered the kids and dogs occasionally.  We have, however, been out to eat three times in three days and that is because I have found that eating somewhere besides home equals no dishes. I spend an hour or so per day picking up clutter, but only in the front part of the house because that's what someone would see should they stop by to check on us men. Rita asked me, before she left, to clean the toilets at least once because the apparently the boys aren't good at aiming, either that or they aren't aiming at the toilet. Anyway, I showed them how to sit down and pee...Problem solved! No toilet cleaning for this SAHD....boooyahh! So, the bottom line is, I am no where near as good as Rita when it comes to this stuff. I have found myself having to shout, hide, ignore, and give in when I shouldn't;  It's like the boys are plotting a hostile takeover sometimes and Rita is going to find me bound and gagged in the closet when she gets home. But you know what? I wouldn't change it for anything! I have had the opportunity to "hang out" with my dudes!With that being said, I would like to give a shout out to all of the moms out there, not just the ones of the SAH variety, but all moms. You have no idea how important you are to the family unit! You are often under-appriciated, under-paid, under-scrutiny, and under-concerned with your own well-being! I am glad Rita took the opportunity to do something for herself for a change and you all should try to find some small way to do something just for you! Just because YOU wanted to! If we are in the same state, I will keep your kids too.....Just be sure and make me a list before you go.


Rita's SAHD,

Curtis