Jittery and Jiggly

When your definition of "personal success" includes removing a booger from your newborn's nose without waking him, you know it's time to do something different.

For me, that's getting back to teaching Zumba. One year ago next month, I looked like this:

A proud (fit, tanned) newly-licensed Zumba instructor. 

And then I looked like this:

Less tan, less fit, six months pregnant, but still proud. 

And then my metabolism was all, hahahahaha screw you! and took an unauthorized vacation and I gained like forty extra pounds despite all the Zumba. And then my baby was all,hahahahaha screw you! and flipped around at the last minute so that he required to be extracted by C-section and I had to take a whole six weeks before I could do anything more strenuous than walking.

So yeah. It's been a while. One might say I'm totally a little out of the groove.

And yet? I've committed myself to return to teaching Zumba the first week of August. It's only three times a week at first, as opposed to the six classes I was teaching before, but still ... I'm scared, y'all. I've been going to some classes here and there for about a week now, just to prepare myself before I jump back into the game, and have encountered jiggle, unfortunate cameltoe, ill-fitting workout clothing, and total awkwardness ...

... all from myself. Boooooo.

I feel like I no longer fit the profile of Zumba instructor, but instead, look more like this:

Not me, but a close approximation.

I don't know how I'm going to do it! I can barely shuffle through thirty minutes of practice here at home, and at the gym, I feel like a total newbie. Like I've never taught a class. Yet in one short week - next Thursday OMG I think I just peed - I'll be back in front of a roomful of people who are watching me shake my (wobbly) thang.


*gulp* ....

PS - I had to interrupt the writing of this post to investigate A TURD STUCK TO THE WALL. I couldn't make this stuff up, you guys.