A Facebook Only a Mother Could Love

I always post stuff about my kids on my personal Facebook page. Just snippets of my daily life with these crazy dudes - things seen or overheard. I find these little anecdotes amusing, but I'm their mom. You know? Like, of course I'm going to think they're funny. That's one of those things that's hard to gauge. Like how you know beyond the shadow of a doubt that your kids are adorable, and then you see someone who also knows beyond the shadow of a doubt that their kids are adorable when really they look kind of weird*, and then it makes you wonder if your kids really are cute or if the phrase "a face only a mother could love" applies too directly for your comfort.

*Don't hate, you know it's true.

Anyway, for your reading pleasure (or your snarky inner "OMG, she thinks this is funny?"), I present to you a handful of the Facebook snippets that people tell me are hilarious. Maybe they're just being nice? You be the judge.

Curtis: "Coby, do you realize you'll be three years old soon?"
Coby: "And then I'll be able to DRIVE?!?"


Nothing good ever came of a four-year-old insisting, from inside the bathroom, that he's "just getting some air."


According to Cameron, coconut ice cream "kind of tastes like love."


Colin has been joking with me for weeks about how he gets up in the middle of the night and plays the Wii. At least I thought he was joking, until I got up at one o'clock this morning and there he was, naked, playing Super Mario Bros.


So my four-year-old tells me that the omelets I made for breakfast taste "like squid in a laundry basket" .....


Cameron just told Colin, "I'm going to spank your butt with an expert hand."


Nothing elicits a smile from our seven-week-old like the ceiling fan. He's going to be weird like the rest of them.


Sometimes, photos say more than a status ever could:

Cameron claims putting his head in his pants while he poops helps eliminate the odor.

Cameron eating his dinner ... sort of. Yes, he still eats paper.

Colin's super-creative take on his "favorite invention" school assignment.

Some things don't make it to Facebook. Like when Colin announced that he was going to grow a mustache "all the way to his back." Or when Cameron menacingly threatened Colin with, "I'm going to rip your underwear off and write 'Big Bird' on it!"

I've been told more than once by Facebook friends that I should have a reality show to chronicle my life with four boys. But right now, for example, two of those four children are naked, my hallway is full of pillows, I just noticed a mysterious smear of poo streaked across the toilet lid, and I'm wearing a shirt with ZERO elasticity so the neckline hits me somewhere mid-boob. So yeah.

I think my reality is better left to blogs and Facebook snippets.