A Roar of a Snore
Photo credit: Maja Lampe
Zzzzz-xnnxkxxghhn-zzzzzzzz ...
My husband snores, y'all. Big time. And when my eyes snapped open at 3:30-ish this morning in response to the sound, I was irritated. I tried to go back to sleep, but -
Zzzzz-xnnxkxxghhn-zzzzzzzz ...
This particular snore was a little on the weird-sounding side, but seriously, the dude snores so often that I've heard nearly every variety. The heavy-breathing-with-a-clicking. The light-wheezing whistle. The sounds-oddly-like-someone-eating-a-crunchy-apple. The oh-dear-Lord-is-that-a-freight-train rumble.
To remedy the situation, I always tell him to turn over on his side. Sometimes this simply involves a whispered, "Honey, turn over, you're snoring." Other times, depending on how heavily he's sleeping, it involves a well-placed finger jab to the ribs or a hearty shove (and, usually, a few expletives thrown in for good measure).
Anyway, last night something else struck me as odd - the fact that he was already on his side. But he was facing me, and maybe facing me meant I could just hear him more clearly, and maybe by facing away at least the snore would be muffled.
"You're snoring," I hissed. "Turn over."
So he did, right away, flipping to his other side. Ahhhh, I thought, settling into my pillow. Much bet-
Zzzzz-xnnxkxxggghhn-zzzzzzzz ...
"Curtis!!" I snapped, exasperated. "You. Are. SNORING!"
"Huh?" my husband mumbled sleepily. "I'm not sn-"
Zzzzz-xnnxkxxggghhn-zzzzzzzz ...
What the eff?
If Curtis wasn't snoring, and I wasn't snoring, then who the .........??
I felt around blindly in the darkness between us, and got my answer.
It was Destiny!
Apparently pugs snore, too.
... Great.
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Apparently I was singing in my sleep last night.
ReplyDeleteHA! That they do. Sometimes I think Lola is a train. It's terrible.
ReplyDeleteI thought there was a bear in the house once...nope, it was the effing DOG snoring!!!
ReplyDeletefor some reason a dog snore doesn't seem like it would be that bad? maybe? then again, i don't have a pug that snores! lol. sometimes my cats whistle or snore in their sleep. it makes me laugh, but it also BUGS when you are trying to catch some z's!
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how you feel. My husband and toddler son both snore....I think one day, I'm going to have to build a granny flat for me to sleep in!
ReplyDeleteAll brachycephalic (smushed nose) dogs snore. My shih tzu dreams he is a 747 every single freaking night. Still <3 him, though.
ReplyDeleteSusan
(blogger hates me & will only allow me to post under anonymous)
Oh yes...I've heard pugs are the worst offenders because of their swished faces. The Man snores as well and I can't stand it! Even when he rolls over, it still seems to keep me up. The things we put up with!
ReplyDeleteWM
I was irritated with the snoring of my wife in night i cant sleep in such a disgusting sound so i bought her a stop snore ring which she wears in her pinky finger of left hand.Finally i got the rid of this snoring sound.
ReplyDelete