This Phase is a Scream

I'm hoping I don't get a visit from the cops. Or worse, child protective services. But seriously, judging from the piercing screams that seem to almost constantly emanate from my house? I wouldn't be surprised if the neighbors called either one. Because it sounds like I'm butchering a pig up in here, y'all.

And his name is Cameron.

My three-year-old, has always had a big voice. It's just ... naturally loud. EXCEPTIONALLY loud. Even when he was a tiny infant, his cries could've woken the dead (with the exception of his father, who has always had a rare talent for "sleeping through" the boys' middle-of-the-night disturbances). I don't know why it's that loud except Cameron has a really big mouth, like really big, which might have something to do with it. Anyway, I love it when he sings, laughs, or says something funny. I do not, however, find it amusing when he screams.

Unfortunately, screaming seems to be what he does best lately. It's always brought about by Colin's pestering/torturing/teasing/scaring. And it DRIVES me CRAZY. No no ... crazy isn't even a good enough word. The sound is like hundreds of people collectively scraping their nails across a chalkboard while someone drives red-hot pokers into my ears and lets loose a swarm of buzzing mosquitos around my head.

But Colin doesn't feel the same about his little brother's huge voice. In fact, he enjoys bothering Cameron into a screaming frenzy. Which means he does it every. Single. Chance. He gets. And considering they're together all day long since it's summer vacation? I think you get the idea.

Colin chases Cameron with a toy snake: screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeam!
Colin clips the dog's leash to Cameron's shorts: screeeeeeeeeeeeam!
Colin pretends to reach for Cameron's breakfast/lunch/dinner/drink: screeeeeeeeeeeeam!
Colin pretends he's going to pee on Cameron: screeeeeeeeeeeeam!
Colin says any variety of words (like "piggy" or "snoogle") in a "scary" voice: screeeeeeeeeeam!

I could go on. Like, indefinitely. Point is, it's ridiculous. But what's worse is that once he got into the habit of screaming about everything Colin does, Cameron also started to scream in response to just about everything else. Like when he's playing with the dog. Or when the baby tries to take a toy from him. (Which both happen approximately 1,500 times a day.) Even when Colin is doing something that Cameron likes - tickling or playing tag - what does Cameron do?

You guessed it. He screams. At the top of his lungs.

My ears are perpetually ringing. My head is perpetually aching. My nerves are perpetually shot. I know this is just a phase - I mean I don't think he's going to go off to college screaming at every little thing - but at this point, I'm praying the phase ends before I go completely mad.

Or before, you know, my eardrums explode. Whichever happens first.