I'm Missing a Foot

So something huge happened to me last weekend.

I cut off a foot. Chopped it right off.

And there it lay on the floor, and I was all, "Damn!"

And the stylist was like, "I know! I'd never have expected you had that much hair!"

Okay, so technically I didn't chop off the twelve inches of hair, but the end result is the same: this girl's head is much lighter than it was a week ago. I swear, y'all, I could've collected the huge pile of hair and made enough of a weave to turn an ordinary elephant into a woolly mammoth. I would've donated it, but I was told that it was ineligible for donation since I'd colored it like a year ago.*

*In all actuality they were probably like, "No one would want that frizzy mess on their head."

Anyway, you can't get a major haircut without before-and-after photos, right? So without further ado, here you go. First up: the "before" pic. (Please ignore the fact that it was taken in my bathroom where the lighting is crappy and the mirror is flecked with toothpaste. And the slightly crazed look in my eye. And that I was wearing no makeup. Just concentrate on the hair, y'all.)

And before anybody comments, "But your hair was so pretty!" let me just say that it was slightly damp in this picture and therefore not as huge as usual (it normally looks more like this). And that the ends were so rough and dry that I could've etched glass with them.

Anyway, here's the after:

The only bad thing is that I have to straighten it for it to look any sort of decent. But on the upside, it takes about 5 minutes to straighten it now, as opposed to the 30 it took before. Win!

In other news, remember how I told you the other day that I was sick? Yeah. I'm still sick. Not as bad, but whatever this is has been kicking my ass for nearly a week now. I did wake up today feeling about 60% better, so that's definitely a plus. But this coughing-up-a-lung thing is getting old fast. I haven't been to the gym in like eight days, yet my muscles are sore in places I didn't even know could get sore due to the incessant hack-hack-hacking. Plus I sound like an old man. You know how they sometimes do that cough-cough-chew thing? Yeah.

Anyway, now that I have less hair, it didn't get nearly as tangled and matted when I was laid out on the couch, feverish and sweaty, for days on end. Before the cut, it would've resembled a nest after going through that.

Gotta be thankful for the small stuff.