Procrastinators Unite ... Tomorrow

Right this minute, the baby is eating his big brother's soggy leftover cereal ... with his fingers. Last night's dinner dishes are still piled in the sink, because the dishwasher needs to be unloaded and there's no friggin' way I'm doing the dishes by hand (what?? That's why I have a dishwasher!). There are bits of papery onion skin scattered across the kitchen floor; I guess that's what I get for storing the onions within the reach of little fingers. And thanks to the dog, there are also three chewed-up tampons - clean ones, thank the Lord - that need to be picked up. Not to mention the bucketfuls of crumbs that seem to have materialized out of nowhere. I need to vacuum, but - oh! - I can't. Because, also thanks to the dog, my vacuum cord has been chewed. Completely. Through.

(And I love that vacuum, y'all. I even wrote a poem to it once.)

There's a load of laundry that needs to be put in the washer. But there's a load already in the washer that needs to be put in the dryer. But there's a load already in the dryer that needs to be put in the laundry basket. But there's a load already in the basket that needs to be folded and put away.

I've also got a work deadline: a whole website worth of copy to revamp, with keyword optimization. It's a thought-provoking process, but it's really hard to think when there's a toddler trying to pick my nose and a three-year-old asking me repeatedly, "What is this mess?" (he's referring to the shredded tampons, which opens up a whole new can of worms). I need an office ... but that would probably be a mess, too.

It sounds like all I'm working on is some sort of award for Mad Procrastination Skillz. Is there such a thing? Because I am totally in the running. Although I do stop my grueling process of procrastination every so often for a slice of pie (that I have almost singlehandedly devoured within the last two days).

I guess I'll have some time to get things done when the kids go down for their nap. Oh wait - no I won't. Because Colin's out of school an hour and fifteen minutes early today, which cuts squarely into naptime.

I think I'll have some more pie.