Horse Pubes & Bumpits & Raisins, Oh My!
Hey you. Yeah, you! I'm glad you're checking out the ol' blog. So ... how'd you get here? Did you find me via Facebook or Twitter? Or did you find me when you were searching for ...
... horse pubes?
Because somebody did. Seriously.
As much as I wish I could say I'm kidding, that is an actual search term from which someone ended up on my blog.
It's fun - though sometimes a bit creepy - to see how people get here. Since I'm on Blogger, I can use Google Analytics to see that type of stuff. And most of these search terms make me LOL ... literally. Here, because I like to share the funny, are some of my recent favorites. Keep in mind, these are actually things people have searched - 100% unedited. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried, y'all.
george costanza baah
make a little stanky stanky
i love my smelly balls
real whores fighting
could my houseplant be haunted
can parrots eat marshmallows
raisins reconstitute in poop
horse pubes
my bumpits dont look nice on me
WHORING MOTHER IN LAW
thank goodness tomorrow is trash day forgot to take it out last week
shook my groove thing and sun came out
big girl feeling not so fresh
my husband's a fat ass
superhuman housewifery
toys r us catalog dirty surprise
I think I can figure out how some of these searches ended up here. I mean - it's pretty obvious to me, for example, where "whore" and "raisins" and "Bumpits" and "smelly balls" came from. Oh yeah, and there was that one time where I accidentally called my husband a fat ass (ACCIDENTALLY! For real!). And I guess I have talked about that "not-so-fresh feeling."
But George Costanza? I'm at a loss there. I don't even watch "Seinfeld."
Crazy! You have a weird bunch here.
ReplyDeleteI must say I'm quite curious as to how one's houseplant becomes haunted.
ReplyDeleteI think the "smelly balls" was me...but really, it wasn't my fault - you know how tennis players stash their ball in their panties? Well, after the game, I just threw them in my gym bag and when I opened it 3 months later...well, there was no getting rid of that stank, and 3 months after that, it kind of started to grow on me...
ReplyDeleteBut hey...it brought me to you!
HAHAH
ReplyDeleteI was going to do a post with some of the weird shit as well.
You take the cake though!
those are so funny - but I have to say the one that confuses me most is: thank goodness tomorrow is trash day forgot to take it out last week
ReplyDeleteis that a question? I just don't understand why someone would google that - what information are they looking for? A support group for people who forgot to put out the trash? Weird.
UH-mazing! You had me at "horse pubes." Those are some stellar searches to be sure!
ReplyDeleteNow, tell me about this google analytics, cause now I'm all intrigued.
That's hilarious! I'm checking mine right now..
ReplyDeleteYour Zombie-poop post should yeild some interesting results. ( :
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha that is so funny!! I get hits all the time from people searching "fat playboy!" Dogs!
ReplyDeleteMakes me wonder what in the world some of those people are thinking! But I'm glad their searches got them to you anyway, horse pubes and all! ;o)
ReplyDeleteHorses have pubes?
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious, Rita. I can't believe the things people Google.
ReplyDelete