Cereal Killer

At like ten o'clock last night, Curtis and I were sitting on the couch watching TV, and I was thinking how tired I was. And how I had to get up at the crack of dawn. And how if I didn't get to bed, I was gonna be dragging ass in the morning.

But then I swear I heard a little voice calling me from the kitchen cabinet. I'm pretty sure it was the Cocoa Puffs.

The sweet, crunchy, chocolatey Cocoa Puffs.

"I think I'm going to have a bowl of cereal," I said to Curtis, as if it were a novel idea. He laughed.

"I was waiting for it," he said. "You have a bowl of cereal every night."

I was insulted. "I do not," I huffed. How dare he imply that my self-control was so poor that I couldn't resist the siren call of cereal EVER?

He just looked at me. And that's when I realized ... it's true, y'all. I do have a bowl of cereal every night. Right before bed.

Anybody who's ever worried about being fat knows that you shouldn't eat right before bed. Especially not carbs.

But you know those "rules" you make up in your own head about calories - like, when they count and when they don't? Like, if we eat something standing up it's somehow not as fattening. Or the baked goods we inhale snacks we eat during that time of the month ... we can't help our hormonally-induced cravings. Or those scraps we clean off our kids' plates? TOTAL freebies. Anyway, I do that with cereal, too. It doesn't weigh anything. It's not the kind of food you stop eating because it's too rich or because you're full. I mean, who ever gets full of cereal? So I think nothing of eating it as a bedtime snack.

Ten Two minutes later ...

And so on.

I can really put away some cereal, y'all. In fact, now that I think about it, I'm fairly convinced that the lumpy appearance of the backs of my thighs isn't due to cellulite, but to an excess cereal stash. So, that does it. This love affair with the pre-bedtime cereal is gonna have to stop.

... Right after I finish this bowl of Cap'n Crunch.