Girls? Oh Boy.

When I tell people I'm the mother of boys, I often get a similar response: "You're so lucky you don't have girls." People are emphatic about this - like, if I could see the words coming out of their mouths, they'd be in bold, caps-lock AND italics. It's almost the same tone people adopt when they say something like, "You could have been killed!" Once at a playground, I was chatting with another mom and she said the "you're so lucky" line ... and then went so far as to tack, "You'd hate it," onto the end in a desperate whisper. She sounded like it was a secret she'd been dying to spill to the right person.

I'd hate it? Really? Are girls that bad?

Admittedly, being the mom of three sons, I'm not as experienced in the art of raising a girl. But lest we forget, I myself was a little girl at one point, so I do have a teeny bit of insight. And aside from a handful of bad things, I honestly think I was pretty well-behaved. I don't ever remember being particularly mischevious or troublemaking. I was good at school. And I know I wasn't sassy, 'cause my mama would've slapped me into next week. I didn't do a lot of eye-rolling or door-slamming or back-talking.

I go through a lot as the mom of boys. I can't imagine girls smearing their poo all over the place or constantly pestering me to do science experiments that could get them blown up. I don't think girls "sprinkle" all over the toilet seat and the floor (and I only have one potty-trained so far, so I can only imagine what it's going to be like magnified by three) or request wedgies (yes, Colin actually does this). I'm fairly sure I wouldn't have to warn a girl that when she goes to school, she can't fart and then laugh about it. I've become accustomed to cleaning up squishy messes, finding food stuffed into weird places, and not having a heart attack when the boys climb onto - and then jump fearlessly off of - things that are far too high. And the thing is, my boys are still little. I can't even imagine what awaits me when they're sweating, stinking, eating-us-out-of-house-and-home teenagers. 

Apparently, though, my lack of female offspring is akin to a one-way ticket down Easy Street.

That's confusing in itself, but then people insist on confusing me even further. Despite all the "you're-so-lucky" hoopla, the question I get most often is: "Are you going to try for a girl?" Like I've failed three times, but maybe if I tried again, I might get it right.

Are you kidding? After hearing how much I'd despise it, and how difficult girls are?

I think if I ever get pregnant again, I'm hoping for another boy! Moms of girls, enlighten me: are they REALLY that bad?!