The Frump is Grumpy

There are things I like waking up to: beautiful sunshine illuminating my room, sweet kisses from my boys, a cuddle from my husband, the smell of breakfast cooking (which means I don't have to do it which is ALWAYS a plus).

And then there are things I don't like waking up to. Among those things: a torn-up bathroom. But this, my friends, is what I stumbled upon first thing this morning:

Yeah. That's my floor ... which was already torn up, but not quite that bad. And my wall, which until sometime in the wee hours of the morning, was actually intact. The damage to both is the result of the same furry asshole culprit ...

... our seven-month-old chocolate Lab, Josie. (Otherwise known as, "Dammit, Josie!!")

Yeah, she's cute, but I swear - the bowels of hell couldn't release a more destructive force. Not even my three boys, all of them together, could compete. Sadly, the damage to the bathroom is just the tip of the iceberg. I could post pictures of the four-inch HOLE she chewed in my living room carpet yesterday. Or the gnaw marks in the living room wall. Or the two hairbrushes she's demolished this week. Or the countless toys and books she has destroyed. The two iPhone chargers she's eaten. The TV cable. Need I go on?

For six weeks I took her to obedience training. When I asked the trainer about her destructive habits, she insinuated it was my fault. "It's a matter of unpreparedness," she chirped. "Leaving things around is fair game." But that's not very practical; I have three kids, and as much as I'd love to have a neat and tidy house at all times, there's always stuff on the floor. Period. And what about the carpet and the wall? Do I need to somehow put those away, too? Ugh.

Josie was in the bathroom because that's where she sleeps. And why does she sleep in the bathroom? Because if we leave her out overnight, she pees and poops in the house. But I don't know why I bother, because I "miraculously" find pee and poop on the laundry room floor nearly every morning. Curtis gets her out of the bathroom when he wakes up for work and takes her immediately out, then brings her immediately back to the bathroom - or at least he says he does - yet when I get out of bed and go downstairs to feed and water the pets, there it is. Sometimes a puddle, sometimes a pile, sometimes both ... but always a mess, and always a hassle. As if I didn't have ten thousand other nasty things to deal with on a daily basis.

It's not a matter of unused energy. She plays with the boys all day long. We go for walks. She has tons of her own toys. At this point, I'm at my wits' end ... I have no idea why she's so naughty.

I would never get rid of Josie. Once she grows up and matures a little bit, she's going to be a good dog. And I didn't go into this thinking it would be easy: that's how so many dogs end up in shelters (which makes me so sad). But damn, dog. Give me a break already.