Diet Advice From an Actual Baby

People will do nearly anything to be skinny. I recently saw a clip from the Tyra Banks show where this guy was saying he actually sells tapeworms as a weight loss method.

Tapeworms, y'all.

I would resort to do-it-yourself liposuction with a dirty butter knife and a vacuum cleaner before I'd ever intentionally eat an intestinal parasite. But that's just me.

Anydesperate, have you heard about the baby food diet? Apparently it's a new fad created by this celebrity personal trainer and everybody thought Jennifer Aniston was on it and she was all, "No, I do not eat baby food." (And then went back to whatever outlandish diet/exercise regime she does use.)

Seriously, people? Of course you'll lose weight eating nothing but baby food. It doesn't take a rocket scientist (or a Hollywood trainer) to figure that out. Number one, it's in small portions. Number two, it's mostly fruits and veggies. And number three? It's nasty. Sure, I admit to sneaking a few bites of the pear-raspberry puree once in a while, but I'm not craving it for dessert. It's just not that delicious.

Just ask Coby: my actual baby, who is actually on the baby food diet because, well, he's a baby. Here are some photos that I took during his lunchtime yesterday - proof positive that the baby food diet is not where it's at.

"Lasagna ... from a jar? Are you kidding me?"

"What are those little chunks there?"

"Seriously, Mom? You're making me eat more of this stuff?"

"You can make me eat it. But you can't make me like it."

See? If a real live baby has this opinion of baby food - and he hasn't even had the pleasure of eating, say, freshly-baked cookies or biscuits - just imagine what it would be like for someone with actual food experience.

I guess it's still better than a tapeworm ...