Happy Mother's Day, Daddy

Mother's Day: the one day of the year when Mom gets to sleep as late as she wants, be showered with gifts and sweet sentiments, and have her every need and desire swiftly attended to by her adoring -

Ahahahaha! Sorry, but I was laughing too hard to finish typing that last sentence. Because as you know if you're a mom, Mother's Day doesn't usually go down like that. Not that our husbands and families don't have the best of intentions, but ... come on. Case in point, my own Mother's Day.

Their intended gift to me: A delicious breakfast at IHOP.
What really happened: Curtis worked until 2 am, so he had to have at least a little sleep. The boys woke up at seven, demanding breakfast immediately, as usual. I fielded increasingly whiny urgent requests until eight, during which time I also herded cats and wrangled octopuses got all three of them, plus myself, dressed and ready. I woke Curtis up at eight o'clock; while he got ready, I took the dog to potty and loaded the boys into the car. We drove to IHOP accompanied by a chorus of "I'm huuuuuungry! When are we going to beeeeee there?" and found that approximately 80% of the population had the same idea - there was a half-hour wait for a table. My stress level crept up like the mercury on a thermometer as we tried to keep our ravenously hungry, unable-to-understand-the-concept-of-patient children occupied. Then of course when we finally got a table, there was the wait for food. It was after ten o'clock when we actually ate, at which point my kids had been shrieking pestering asking for breakfast for over three hours. Nerves: jangled.

Their intended gift to me: A nice leisurely drive.
What really happened: When Curtis asked me after breakfast what I'd like to do next, I said, "Let's go for a drive." I like to ride around in the car for several reasons: one, it gives me a chance to chat with my husband. Two, I enjoy looking at houses and landscaping and such. Three - and probably most significantly - my children are strapped in and I don't have to chase after them hollering "No!" every twenty seconds. But Curtis drove by a playground. And it was a sunny day. And, well, you know what happens when you drive kids by a playground on a sunny day. So we ended up stopping to let them play, and there went my drive.

Their intended gift to me: A lovely afternoon nap.
What really happened: When we got home, I was exhausted. "Go in the bedroom and lay down," Curtis grandly suggested, "and I'll stay out here with the kids." So I took the baby, because I knew he'd nap with me, and back to the bedroom we went. I snuggled into my cozy bed and began the process of putting the baby to sleep. It took a few minutes, and once he was out, I began dozing myself ... until Colin's little voice whispered in my ear.

"Happy Mother's Day, Mommy," he said. "When you wake up from your nap, we're going to make you a big cake. And do you know what kind of cake it's going to be? A red one. With pink frosting. And sprinkles! And, Mommy, we're going to take the little tubes of glitter gel and we're going to write HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MOMMY and WE LOVE YOU on the top of it. Won't that be nice? Mommy? Would you like a cake like that?"

"Yes," I said wearily. "I'd love that. Now go wait with Daddy so Mommy can nap."

But as soon as I'd dozed off again, I heard suspicious sounds from beyond the bedroom door. And I got up to find Daddy sacked out on the couch while the boys ran amok - because Daddies everywhere have this widely-held belief that as long as they are physically present in the same room as the children, nothing bad will happen, even if they're sound asleep. And I knew Curtis had to work that night, so I just let him sleep. And so there went my nap.

I spent the next hour or so preparing dinner. Mostly one-handed, because the baby had woken up early from his nap and was cranky and refused to let me put him down.

Then Curtis went to work, and I cleaned up. Whee!

But the best part? The huge card my kids made. They found a big piece of white paperboard and got to work on their masterpiece: drawing colorful butterflies, using crayons and markers. When they were done, they proudly showed me the finished product. The sweet Mother's Day card they had made ... for their dad.

If you can't see it, it says: "Happy Mom's Day and thanks Dad for everything you do" and "I love you Dad so much."

Way to make Mom feel special, dudes.

Anyway, that was my Mother's Day. There may have been a few glitches, and it may not go down in the record books as the Best Mother's Day Ever. But you know what? I got syrupy pancake kisses. I got the laughter of my sons as they chased each other on the playground. I got warm snuggles from my baby for a few precious minutes in our bed. And I got the sweet confirmation that I chose a Daddy for my boys who is so special he deserves his own Mother's Day card.

I think that's a pretty good deal.