My Glasses ... Those Asses!

Call me a geek, but I love my glasses.

I got them way back in 2003, when we were living in Germany. So that makes them even cooler 'cause they're, you know, like souvenirs I can wear on my face. At first I wasn't sure about their thick black frames, because I didn't want to be mistaken for Buddy Holly. (See the photos below; I've conveniently labeled them so you can tell who's who. You're welcome.)

But when I put them on for the first time, Curtis raved about how great they looked - which was simultaneously foreign and flattering - and so I began to see myself as chic rather than geek.

At first my glasses were just for wearing in the evenings after I'd taken my contacts out, or with the occasional outfit that I thought they coordinated well with, or when I thought I needed to look "smart." (Because everybody knows that people who wear glasses are, like, really brainy. And good in bed, like sexy librarian good. ... Okay, so I just made that last part up.)

But eventually, as the years and the children descended upon me, they became what I wore instead of contacts. Like a part of my face. And there they've been perched, Buddy Holly-like, through some of the most important times of my life. For example:

Don't you just love my hair?

Anyway, three days ago, those little traitors turned on me. They broke. And not just a little something that could be fixed with tape - 'cause let me tell you, I'm totally not above wearing taped-up glasses. The entire left earpiece fell off. I'm not even sure exactly how it happened, but it was heartbreaking. I held them up by their single remaining earpiece, and a lone tear slid slowly down my cheek.

To add insult to injury, my contact lenses have long been dried to shriveled plastic discs in their case.

To further complicate matters, my eye doctor only comes in two days a week - and he's booked until the first of the year.

But then - oh, ray of promising heavenly light! - I tentatively put my beloved glasses back on my face. And they stayed!!! *insert Hallelujah chorus*

So now I'm going around rockin' the one-earpiece glasses. Yeah, I'm not ashamed to admit it. I wouldn't love any of my children less if they, like, suddenly went missing a leg or something - so although I'm a little hurt by my glasses' betrayal (I thought we'd be together forever, you guys!), I'm glad I can still wear them.

Well, until I bend over, or shake my head around too fast. Then they fall off. But anyway.

We've had a good run, my glasses and I. And I suppose I should look forward to the future, to some new and possibly improved glasses, but it sure is going to be hard to say goodbye.

... Even if they are missing an earpiece.