Ol' What's-His-Name
My given name is Rita (Rita Jane, if I'm in trouble). But throughout my childhood and even as an adult, I've answered to many different monikers: Amy, Michelle, Steve, Sarah, Josh, Chuck. And occasionally, Maggie.Those aren't my multiple personalities, nor have I spent the biggest part of my life in the Witness Protection Program. Those are the names of my siblings (except for Maggie - that's the dog). I have answered to each of those names at some point because my mom could never recall which of us, exactly, she was talking to ... especially if she was flustered. You know the nursery rhyme that goes, "There was an old lady who lived in a shoe/She had so many children she didn't know what to do?" Yeah - in our case, that should be changed to "She had so many children she couldn't remember what the hell their names were."
But as much as I'd like to, I can no longer make fun of my mom for calling us by the wrong names. (Though there are still plenty of things I can make fun of her for ... bwahahaha!) Because like some crazy curse - or is it bad karma? - the same affliction has hit me since we've added another baby to the brood.
It doesn't help that Colin, Cameron and Coby are all C names - or that I'm married to another C, Curtis - or that nearly everyone in this house is a boy, except for myself and one of the cats (the jury's still out on the sex of the praying mantis). Still, I had managed to do a decent job of keeping everyone straight until we just had to go and press our luck. Upset the balance. Throw everything off-kilter. Adding another name to the mix proved to be like the block that makes the whole tower topple over.
But as much as I'd like to, I can no longer make fun of my mom for calling us by the wrong names. (Though there are still plenty of things I can make fun of her for ... bwahahaha!) Because like some crazy curse - or is it bad karma? - the same affliction has hit me since we've added another baby to the brood.
It doesn't help that Colin, Cameron and Coby are all C names - or that I'm married to another C, Curtis - or that nearly everyone in this house is a boy, except for myself and one of the cats (the jury's still out on the sex of the praying mantis). Still, I had managed to do a decent job of keeping everyone straight until we just had to go and press our luck. Upset the balance. Throw everything off-kilter. Adding another name to the mix proved to be like the block that makes the whole tower topple over.
Now every address I make is prefaced with, "Col- uh, Cam- uhhh, Co-" or some variant, and usually ends with me referring to them as something else entirely: "What's-his-name" or "ol' boy" or "the little/big/middle one" or "you know who I mean, dammit" if I'm talking about them, and the generic "Son" if I'm talking to them.
I feel bad that they're going to grow up having to answer to each other's names, but I guess it can't be helped - it's the unfortunate consequence of having multiple children. Oh well. They'll get used to it, just like I did, or my name isn't Steve. Er, Maggie. Uh ...
Don't feel bad, I have only had two children, but because of the amount of furbabies I have had, this happens to me as well. None of the animals every ALWAYS get called by the right name, and often the kids and even the husband get called one of the dog's name (usually the worst behaved because I am used to yelling at them0.
ReplyDeleteYeah good luck with that one!
ReplyDeleteI do this. All. The. Time. My husband and kids think I'm terrible that I cannot use the right name for the right person for my own children. Like you, it started with Kid Number Three. What is it--do we lose some brain cells with the third kid or have just increased the work load by just enough to send the "keeping facts straight" part of the brain on vacation?
ReplyDeleteOh I suffer with the same affliction even though I purposely named my five with different letters in the hope of making it easier....and when I'm cross I usually go through all of their names before getting the right one and even my brother's name gets strangely thrown into the mix as well. :0)
ReplyDeleteDamn I do this all the time. Except it's with my son and the dog.
ReplyDeleteI tend to leave my daughter out of it.
Sigh.
Would someone just friggin answer me already??
and usually ends with me referring to them as something else entirely: "What's-his-name" or "ol' boy" or "the little/big/middle one" or "you know who I mean, dammit" if I'm talking about them, and the generic "Son" if I'm talking to them.
ReplyDeleteThis made me actually and literally laugh OUT loud...bursting style. SO SO FUNNY!
And that is a lot of testosterone in your casa.
Delightful! Love this post. I think almost anyone with siblings can relate to this.
ReplyDeleteI gave you the lovely blog award on my blog. It is because of fantastic posts like this one.
Sometimes I just go "hey you!"
ReplyDeleteOr I call my son my daughter's name and he gets all insulted and is all, "I am NOT a girl!"
LOL! Okay, in my defense, I was always hurrying when you kids were younger. Rushing to get supper on the table, shuffling kids in and out of the bathtub, cleaning up some unidentifiable sticky spot before it became a stain, trying to get everybody in the car. I used to always get Steve & Chuck's names mixed up the worst. I called them Stuck and Cheve for years! I wonder if any of you really know who you are yet?! :o)
ReplyDeleteMy mom always did this, and still does occasionally. Grams has a habit of calling me by my dad's name. And just the other day, someone called me "Michael," randomly. Hm.
ReplyDeleteJust be glad your name isn't Jenna, with a mom named Janna. I STILL don't know what she was thinking! :)
ReplyDeleteTotally! That third boy is the breaking point, isn't it??? Hubby and I now typically refer to all three as "B" (for buddy boy).
ReplyDeleteI think this ailment plagues every parent of multiple children. With 4 boys we just say, "Boy" most of the time and wait for the right one to look at us.
ReplyDeleteI'm right there with you....being the youngest of 7 it took my mom forever before she got to my name.....nowadays when she starts I just say my name to her...to help her out, I guess! LOL Cindy, Marsha & I (tonight) were just talking about making fun of our parents & hows its coming back to bite us!
ReplyDeleteMy husband and his siblings give his grandmother so much grief for this exact thing! (Yes, I'm comparing you to a grandma, but I mean it in the nicest way :)). Anyway, she's notorious for differentiating between the 4 boys by calling them things like, "the yellow-haired one" or "the one with the beard". Recently, she asked if we could just make her a t-shirt with their pictures on it so she can just point to whichever kid she's referring to. See what you have to look forward to?
ReplyDeleteConfession: I only have one kid and I end up calling him the cat's name half the time. Don't feel bad.
There were only three of us, two J names and an A, so it wasn't quite so bad for my mom. But my grandmother would run through the whole list of grandchildren before she got your name correct. It always made us laugh really hard though, so it is a happy memory for me.
ReplyDelete