I've Had Too Much Whine

Seriously. WHAT is with the WHINING? I think every word out of Colin's mouth this morning - and I mean that literally, every-single-effing-word, has been said in the kind of tone that makes me think of abusive ways to use duct tape.

I can halfway understand the need to whine about something frustrating. Can't get your underwear back on straight after you pee? Sure, I can see a whine coming from that. Baby brother sprinkles you with milk from his sippy cup and then laughs? Yeah, that might merit a little complaint. I would be willing to overlook - and not gripe to the world on my blog about - minor, reasonable infractions of the "no-whining" code like those. But it's the stuff that Colin could totally say in a regular tone of voice, yet doesn't, that has me wishing he were equipped with a "mute" button:

"I'm dooooone with my eeeeeeeeeeggs!"

"I need to poooooop!"

"When does 'The Fresh Beat Band' come ooooooooonnnnn?"

"Can I help you water the plaaaaaaants?"

It irritates me to no end. It makes no sense. Those phrases needed to be whined why?

I swear, the kid's going for some kind of award today - like "Most Syllables in the Word 'Mommy'" or "Longest Complaint Without Drawing a Breath." But if I can make it through the day - no no, the next few hours - without donning a pair of heavy-duty earplugs and actually hiding from him, I think it's me who deserves the award.