Pardon the Interruption(s)
I swear there's some unwritten rule that says the more quiet and structure Mommy needs, the less she'll get. I don't know about your kids, but mine live by this rule.
On the days I don't have much to do, they'll happily occupy themselves. But on days like today - when I've got a couple of writing assignments (and a super-cool blog) to attend to, and need time and space to think - they're up my butt like a dental-floss thong. Take this particular post: I've restarted it twice, and erased entire sentences because of extraneous additions like "sdfak" and "l;;=p" (courtesy of Cameron, who will NOT stop climbing into my chair). I have also completely stopped writing it more times than I can even count, in order to:
-Fulfill a request for milk
-"... No, chocolate milk!"
-Fulfill a request for a pacifier
-Retrieve Cameron from downstairs
-Retrieve aforementioned pacifier from beneath the stove
-Change a poopy diaper (wait ... what's that smell? ... Ugh, make that two poopy diapers)
-Confiscate the tweezers from Colin
-Answer umpteen million "important" questions, such as "Remember when we had a fuzzy toilet seat cover?"
-Remove Cameron from pulling on the curtains ... six times
-Check my Facebook page , only because my concentration was broken anyway
I wish I had some bag of spectacular child-occupying tricks to pull out in times like these, but even things that have them mesmerized one time will have zero effect the next. Personally, I find that my most effective tips are these:
-Give them something they're not usually allowed to play with. In today's case, it's a piece of aluminum foil for Colin, and a big plastic tube from the vacuum cleaner for Cameron. Hey, whatever works.
-Wait until naptime or work after bedtime. I would say get up earlier than they do in the mornings, but with my kids that would mean getting up at like 4 a.m. And ... no. It's surprising the amount of stuff I can get done with an hour of peace and quiet, as opposed to two hours of near-constant interruption.
Until someone invents a magic child-repelling shield (wait, I think they already have ... it's called a condom), I'm just going to have to deal with - oh, hang on a sec.
Okay, I'm back. *ahem* ... I'm just going to have to deal with - ugh, wait just a second again, sorry.
Like I was saying: I'll just have to deal with ... gosh dangit, be right back.
You get the picture. ;)
On the days I don't have much to do, they'll happily occupy themselves. But on days like today - when I've got a couple of writing assignments (and a super-cool blog) to attend to, and need time and space to think - they're up my butt like a dental-floss thong. Take this particular post: I've restarted it twice, and erased entire sentences because of extraneous additions like "sdfak" and "l;;=p" (courtesy of Cameron, who will NOT stop climbing into my chair). I have also completely stopped writing it more times than I can even count, in order to:
-Fulfill a request for milk
-"... No, chocolate milk!"
-Fulfill a request for a pacifier
-Retrieve Cameron from downstairs
-Retrieve aforementioned pacifier from beneath the stove
-Change a poopy diaper (wait ... what's that smell? ... Ugh, make that two poopy diapers)
-Confiscate the tweezers from Colin
-Answer umpteen million "important" questions, such as "Remember when we had a fuzzy toilet seat cover?"
-Remove Cameron from pulling on the curtains ... six times
-Check my Facebook page , only because my concentration was broken anyway
I wish I had some bag of spectacular child-occupying tricks to pull out in times like these, but even things that have them mesmerized one time will have zero effect the next. Personally, I find that my most effective tips are these:
-Give them something they're not usually allowed to play with. In today's case, it's a piece of aluminum foil for Colin, and a big plastic tube from the vacuum cleaner for Cameron. Hey, whatever works.
-Wait until naptime or work after bedtime. I would say get up earlier than they do in the mornings, but with my kids that would mean getting up at like 4 a.m. And ... no. It's surprising the amount of stuff I can get done with an hour of peace and quiet, as opposed to two hours of near-constant interruption.
Until someone invents a magic child-repelling shield (wait, I think they already have ... it's called a condom), I'm just going to have to deal with - oh, hang on a sec.
Okay, I'm back. *ahem* ... I'm just going to have to deal with - ugh, wait just a second again, sorry.
Like I was saying: I'll just have to deal with ... gosh dangit, be right back.
You get the picture. ;)
LOL - my kid's favorite is the "mommy?" that just dangles with no follow up requests. I get this at least elevn billion times a day. I stop what I'm doing, wait for the question nd get... nothing. It's like they just have to make sure I'm still there ready to assist their every need. And as soon as i go back to what I was doing, well, it's "mommy?" Aaaaaagh!
ReplyDeleteOh no DOUBT ... I get that too Kate! And to make matters worse, Colin has developed a bit of a stutter. So in addition to that - when he DOES get around to finishing the question - it takes him ten minutes to get it out. Since the experts say not to hurry him, I just sit there looking patient (while inside my patience is wearing reeeeally thin!).
ReplyDeleteOH MY GOD! Are you talking about my life?! Have you been spying on me??!!
ReplyDeleteI think it is about time they invent the child repelling shield, the one that comes after the condom... there must be something to be invented I am sure!
Great post :)
LOL, nope, no spying here ... just a fellow harried mother who can totally relate. :)
ReplyDeleteGlad you liked the post!!
Oh....I haaaaaaaaaate that. Well, not hate...but it definitely annoys. That is one of the reasons I blog at work. And while at home I use my phone, and blog while I use the restroom. Or pretend to to use the restroom. If I get to go to the restroom by myself.
ReplyDeleteI was gonna say ... you get to go to the bathroom in private? Lucky!! ;)
ReplyDeleteLOL - I remember those times! When Steve & Amy were little I kept a magazine and a pair of blunt-tipped scissors on top of the fridge and only gave it to them when I was on the phone....until Steve cut Amy's hair instead of the magazine! Then there were the incidents when YOU made milk-and-Mentholatum-soup in your little kitchen set, and painted your dollhouse with my nail polish! Ah, the joys of parenting! ;o)
ReplyDeleteOMG, this is so true. My kid will completely ignore me while I'm staring at my belly button or something, but the second I need to make dinner or a phone call or fold the laundry--he is trying to climb me like I'm Everest.
ReplyDeleteI hide in the bathroom a lot.
LOL to your moms stories - that's too funny. Yeah see I don't know if I'm ready for that yet! LOL I'll just keep seeing yours & Betsy's & Lisa's & all of my sisters kids & that'll work for me right now. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI feel like I can barely get things done around my own house sometimes, so I have always been amazed at how you can turn out such wonderful, well-written blogs every day as well as keep up with the kids and your writing jobs. At least now I know it's a little more difficult than it appears when you publish something!
ReplyDeleteI know. Even our endless supply of DVDs don't work anymore. Can't get anything done if they're home.
ReplyDeleteMom - I totally remember the milk-and-mentholatum thing. It smelled disgusting. I'm sure it would have tasted equally gross, so thanks for intervening when you did. :)
ReplyDeleteSarah - I love hiding from my kids. Except for when I come out to discover some sort of mess that wasn't there before! *sigh*
Denni - imagine the things that you did to your parents as a little kid and then multiply it a few times, LOL ... that's pretty much what it seems like to me.
Jennifer - every blog takes me a ridiculous amount of time, except for when I get them done while my kids are napping or something. It's horrible when I have to write anything over 1000 words!
Shelly - my kids will watch the same thing over and over and over and over again, until I actually WANT them to be occupied by it ... and then Colin is like, "But I'm TIRED of this one."