Missed Connections
Sometimes when I'm bored (okay, avoiding the things I should be doing) I go to the "Missed Connections" section of Craigslist. For anyone who's never been there, Craigslist is like a huge online classified ad section - and the Missed Connections part is for people who, as the name implies, are looking for someone. Most of the time they're pretty sweet, like this example from our local section today:
"On June 6, I went to this Walgreens store at the corner of Kimberly and Division Street to get me vitamin water and a beautiful girl by the name of Erin was working at the check out counter. I asked her how she was doing and she told me she'd be working for a few more hours. I didn't tell her anything, but I wish I had. She has a very pretty smile, beautiful eyes, and nice dark hair. If you know her, or if you, Erin, happen to come across this and want to reply, please send a message. I was the guy dressed all in black w/a newspaper boy hat."
See? If I were Erin, I'd be like, "Awww!"
Every time I go there, I secretly hope that there's one meant for me. But in reality, if there were, it would likely say something like this:
"To the pregnant woman trying to get two fidgety little boys into the cart at Hy-Vee. I think your shirt said 'Iowa Hawkeyes' but it was kind of humid so your hair was in the way. There was some sort of stain on the right shoulder. You ran over the edge of your own flip-flop while trying to back the cart up and nearly tripped. If this is you, reply to this message - I love big beautiful women, and I have a pregnancy fetish. I'm the guy with the long white beard in the trench coat."
"On June 6, I went to this Walgreens store at the corner of Kimberly and Division Street to get me vitamin water and a beautiful girl by the name of Erin was working at the check out counter. I asked her how she was doing and she told me she'd be working for a few more hours. I didn't tell her anything, but I wish I had. She has a very pretty smile, beautiful eyes, and nice dark hair. If you know her, or if you, Erin, happen to come across this and want to reply, please send a message. I was the guy dressed all in black w/a newspaper boy hat."
See? If I were Erin, I'd be like, "Awww!"
Every time I go there, I secretly hope that there's one meant for me. But in reality, if there were, it would likely say something like this:
"To the pregnant woman trying to get two fidgety little boys into the cart at Hy-Vee. I think your shirt said 'Iowa Hawkeyes' but it was kind of humid so your hair was in the way. There was some sort of stain on the right shoulder. You ran over the edge of your own flip-flop while trying to back the cart up and nearly tripped. If this is you, reply to this message - I love big beautiful women, and I have a pregnancy fetish. I'm the guy with the long white beard in the trench coat."
LOL you crack me up.....do you remember when you were pregnant with Cameron & we were at the gas station by your moms & those Mexican gents were checking you pregnant ass out! Now they were a bit creepy!
ReplyDeleteThat message to Erin is sweet. I had never heard of that section before. After hearing about all the Craigslist killings I got paranoid and I rarely check it out anymore.
ReplyDeleteMy message would probably say something like yours. Only I'm not pregnant but I know I always look dishelved and half asleep.
Bwaha. This is awesome, I love it.
ReplyDeleteLOL! Gotta love those guys with long white beards and trenchcoats!
ReplyDelete