"When I Grow Up, I Want to Be As Hairy As You."
Colin wondered out loud today if when he grew up, he would have hair on his legs ...
... like mine.
Yeah, so, my stems might be a little thorny right now. Sue me. Number one, it's been winter for the past hundred months or so; it's not like I'm prancing around in shorts with my man-legs bared for the world to see. Number two, my husband works nights and sleeps during the day - which means a greatly reduced chance of, ahem, intimacy. Number three, shaving my legs takes time. It's hard to find an ample allotment of that when I've got two kids who suddenly, without fail, demand my full attention the minute my bare butt gets past the shower curtain. And number four, have you seen the price of blades?! It's madness! You've got two choices when it comes to shaving: cut the crap out of yourself with a cheap disposable, or fork over a small fortune for some fancy-schmancy "miracle-working" razor (such as the Vibrating Venus de Milo Ultra Silken Tropical Breeze with Lathering Moisturizer Bar and Indicator Strip, or something like that). Unless it'll do my laundry at the same time, I'm not paying that much. I have a regular old Venus razor, no bells and whistles, and it's still like twelve bucks for four blades or some such outrageousness.
So you see? It may be true that my three-year-old son aspires to have legs as hairy as mine when he becomes a man - but I have some perfectly valid excuses. If Mother Nature ever stops being a tease and actually delivers warm weather for more than a day or two at a time, I'll bump up the shaving frequency. But for now, the legs are staying fuzzy ... until I have to go to the obstetrician, where I nonchalantly pretend that I'm that hairless all the time. ;)
... like mine.
Yeah, so, my stems might be a little thorny right now. Sue me. Number one, it's been winter for the past hundred months or so; it's not like I'm prancing around in shorts with my man-legs bared for the world to see. Number two, my husband works nights and sleeps during the day - which means a greatly reduced chance of, ahem, intimacy. Number three, shaving my legs takes time. It's hard to find an ample allotment of that when I've got two kids who suddenly, without fail, demand my full attention the minute my bare butt gets past the shower curtain. And number four, have you seen the price of blades?! It's madness! You've got two choices when it comes to shaving: cut the crap out of yourself with a cheap disposable, or fork over a small fortune for some fancy-schmancy "miracle-working" razor (such as the Vibrating Venus de Milo Ultra Silken Tropical Breeze with Lathering Moisturizer Bar and Indicator Strip, or something like that). Unless it'll do my laundry at the same time, I'm not paying that much. I have a regular old Venus razor, no bells and whistles, and it's still like twelve bucks for four blades or some such outrageousness.
So you see? It may be true that my three-year-old son aspires to have legs as hairy as mine when he becomes a man - but I have some perfectly valid excuses. If Mother Nature ever stops being a tease and actually delivers warm weather for more than a day or two at a time, I'll bump up the shaving frequency. But for now, the legs are staying fuzzy ... until I have to go to the obstetrician, where I nonchalantly pretend that I'm that hairless all the time. ;)
I'm laughing so hard at the last sentence. So much of my attention is devoted to the shaving areas simply when I know there's a reason. I don't blame you for taking a shaving hiatus.
ReplyDeleteI must admit I've fallen into the razor with attached soap bar band wagon. It's so convenient and just a tad bit more money (but I don't have to buy shaving cream) and it's simply super fast to use! I know I shave more often simply because I have that, so that's a bonus! :)
Jenna, I've always secretly wanted to try the razor with the soap on it ... but knowing my lucky, Colin would get ahold of it and use the soap to "color" on the shower wall or something! You've piqued my curiosity, though ... :)
ReplyDeleteLOL too funny - Mine are kind of stubbly right now too - I usually shave mine the days I get pedicures! I hate shaving them b/c my hair grows back SO fast!
ReplyDeleteAmen to that - I can shave and literally have stubble within a couple of hours. It's pitiful. Not only that, but my hair is so dark that I never look smooth.
ReplyDeleteOh me either.....and I ALWAYS have dots on my legs b/c my hair is dark & course. Damnit! LOL
ReplyDeleteThat may be one of the few advantages of getting older......less hair growth. I can usually get by with shaving my legs once a week in the winter, twice a week in the summer. It's nice.
ReplyDeleteIt must be! I'd definitely say that's an advantage!
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, I've been in tears tonight in total frustration of having two crazy little boys and a friend posted link to your blog on Facebook. I am now in tears our laughter. Thank you so much for a much needed dose of perspective.
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