Tuesday Tidbits

I have always envied those women who always look cute no matter what the circumstance. Like the ones you see at the grocery store with their cute little fitted velour tracksuit-thingies (which usually say Juicy or something similar across the butt). Their hair is always pulled into an adorable updo with "messy" loose strands that strategically fall in all the right places. They look effortlessly sporty and casual. You know the type.

I, unfortunately, am far from that type. If I tried to wear a velour tracksuit it would look like I was trying to smuggle two holiday hams, and my butt would have room for more than a catchy one-word phrase. (Try an advertisement meant for the side of a city bus.) When I attempt the messy updo, I end up with hair sticking up where it should be laying down, and vice-versa, which makes me look more "insane asylum" than "sporty."

Seriously, what am I missing here? Why do some women look consistently polished and pulled-together, even when they're going for a casual look, when I'm lucky to manage looking decent? Determined to find out, I did some research, and gleaned some tidbits from various Internet advice gurus:

- Wear big sunglasses a la Victoria Beckham. (Yeah, maybe this is a good tip for hiding puffy eyes or lack of makeup, but how trendy would they look with an oversized Iowa Hawkeyes T-shirt and maternity jeans? I mean really.)

- Slip on a sexy bra or panties. (Here's the deal. By the time I find lingerie that doesn't give me major muffin top, it's like a size extra-extra-huge ... which doesn't make me feel all that sexy.)

- Keep your brows groomed. (This one is sooo true. Even despite the fact that I grow a beard during pregnancy - yes really, LOL - my brows are always waxed, and it does make me feel better.)

- Wear cute ballet flats instead of tennis shoes. (Again, a good tip ... if your feet are small to normal-sized. My feet are size ten, which means that flats make me look like I'm skating along on two pontoon boats.)

- Update your accessories. (This is another good one. Buying new accessories - and I'm talking Target, not jewelry store - is a relatively inexpensive way to keep up with the trends. Still, you have to have a decent outfit to go with them. My response to this is much like my response to the "big sunglasses" tip.)

- Keep your nails painted. (I do. My toenails, at least, are always painted. Does it matter that I splurged on a beauty-school pedicure in mid-December and kept the same polish on until *cough cough* March?)

In all seriousness, I need to try some of these tips. Especially now that I'm pregnant and feeling about as sexy as somebody's incontinent great-grandma.

How much do you keep up with trends? How do you keep yourself feeling cute?