It "Bugs" Me

It sure would be great if, when you find out you're pregnant, you could just pick the traits you want your child to have. Not necessarily physical - that's not as important - but to be able to say, "I want my child to have more patience than I do. I'd like him to be interested in horticulture. And no disgusting habits, please."

Wouldn't that be nice?

Unfortunately, as we all know, that isn't the case. A kid is like a big "you-get-what-you-get" grab bag. And while most of the time I feel extremely lucky that my boys got the personalities they got, there are a few exceptions. Like the fact that Colin is obsessed with anything creepy or crawly, and has been ever since I can recall. I swear, the child is a science geek in the making. He must - must - spend a substantial portion of his time each day glued to YouTube watching videos of praying mantises, centipedes, scorpions, spiders, and the like. This is a necessity. We were outside for a couple of hours yesterday and he spent the entire time playing with worms. And then today, he's all, "Mommy, we could make a worm farm in my Venus fly trap box!" (Meaning the plastic terrarium that once housed an ill-fated Venus fly trap.) He had the whole plan laid out: fill the box with mud, and then "get a whole bunch of worms in there and close the lid."

Call me girly, call me a wuss, but I'm afraid of worms. Not as in, "Oh help, they'll get me!" but as in, "Keep those dirty, slimy vermin away from me." They just gross me out. So do bugs in general. I like butterflies and I like ladybugs, and that's it. Roly-polies are borderline.

The fact that Colin is enamored with all things gross doesn't set well with me. He isn't even four and is already asking me for a worm farm. But no matter how educational, no matter how much he enjoys it, I refuse to let him fill his room up with tanks of tarantulas and creepy centipedes and bug-eyed (no pun intended) praying mantises. Because inevitably, they will escape. When he gets his own place, then fine, he can have all the nasty crawlies he wants - it can look like "Joe's Apartment" for all I care. (Remember that show, where the guy lives with all the talking roaches?) For now, watching them on YouTube is as close as he's going to get. I mean, his favorite video is called "Centipede Eviscerates Mouse." I'd rather not have to see a live version!