I Know, I Know ... "No No!"

You know how they make those pedometers that count your steps? I think somebody needs to invent some little gadget for moms that counts the times in a day we say "no" (or some variant of it: nuh-uh, not right now, mm-mmm, stop, don't, etc.).

If I had such a gadget, I would surely set a record today. Either that, or said gadget would be lying on the floor with springs popping and smoke pouring out from gross overuse. I seriously feel sorry for Cameron, my one year old, because in the three and a half hours that he's been awake, I have told him "no" more often than I've said anything else to him ... so much so that he's walking around repeating, "No no no!" in his tiny baby voice. Poor little guy. He's probably thinking, "Damn, isn't there anything I'm allowed to do?!?"

So far I've had to get him out of/off of the following, most of them multiple times:
-The DVD drawer
-The DVD player
-The kitchen cabinets ... where he has figured out the "childproof" latches
-The trash can
-The recycle bin
-The toilet
-The heater vent
-The utensil drawer
-The computer desk
-The kitchen table
-The back of the couch
-The stairs

(So why am I not, like, a size 5 by now? Surely I burn off mega calories retrieving him from such situations!)

That says nothing of the times I've denied Colin of something this morning: no cookies for breakfast. No unattended surfing of YouTube (he likes to watch videos of praying mantises and Venus fly traps). No running around minus underwear. No using the discs from my cookie press as pretend currency. And on, and on, and on ... (or more appropriately, "and no, and no, and no ...")

I swear if someone were to come up to me right now and say, "Hey Rita, do you want a million bucks?" I'd probably say "no" simply out of habit.

... Or maybe not. :)